My Dear sayang, Bunga

Assalamualaikum.

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Have you ever noticed, that one person who always has nothing to say about others but gets all the attention?

yeah, that one person is usually the nicest person in the room.

How do i know? How do i, the naughtiest person in the room notice that one person? 

Because I pay attention. I noticed. 

I've noticed this one little flower that blooms quietly in the corner of the room. The smallest flower that has the nicest scent.

You might be wondering why am I comparing this one person to a little flower. Why not a lady bird if it's small? Why not perfume if it smells nice?

Why a flower?

Because I call this person 'bunga'. 

Before i got to know her, she was like this little seed that I've never noticed. She was there, but I didn't noticed. (WHY??????-regretting)

Well, it was a shame, because if I noticed earlier, it would have been great.

Now this little flower, she was so small and timid, she made me feel like I'm a giant. She made me feel like whatever it is that I do is too much.

Hmmm, how do I say this? I'll give you an example instead.

When I expect something from someone, the pressure I give is always too much. But like her, when she expects something from someone, it would seem like she expects nothing but happiness for them... see? 

"For them" and not for herself.

If you get what I mean... 

She's always so modest, so nice, so sweet, so kind, so cute, so lovable, so...so...so heart-warming!

Well at least for me, she is... but I can bet that if you get the chance to get to know her, it will be so for you too.

Speaking of getting to know her, I've never knew her that well as I started to get to know her during my senior years in high school. That's when we started to get close.

Only the year before was the start of our memories.

And before that? Just a few pieces of memories that I can recall of.

If you notice, that's why this post is not the same as the one before.

It didn't start out with a script of memories that I recall to show her how much she means to me... or how much I remember about her...

But it started with how I noticed her...

Saying so, it seems like I only have a few things to say about her, but no.

It only took me 3 years, give and take a few months, to get to know her enough for me to spare her a gigantic space in my fragile little heart...

Right after I started to get to know her better, there was this little feeling that lingered in my heart, which made me care for her more than the others...

I realized that I've developed a different feeling towards her...

It wasn't just the feeling that friends have towards each other, it was a feeling that only family members have for each other... 

It was love. Strong, sisterly love, that I've felt for her...

All those hugging moments I always try to steal from her, the little trinkets that I gave her, the many stick-it notes I plastered on her cupboard and notebooks, I only did all of that so the shy smiles that I received from her every time afterwards will mean so much more than anything else.

That was how much I loved her...wait, no... I think that won't even be enough to describe even the half of it :') 

Well at least enough to make you understand.

I was, and always will be thankful to my merciful Lord, Allah, for borrowing me this little flower for a little while... that little while may not be enough, but who am I to ask for more when I'm not even that nice and sweet to deserve her... 

Putting that thought aside, I just hope Allah borrowed me this flower because I really do deserve her. Or at least it's because He wants me to be as nice and sweet as that little flower :)

Reading this, I hope you understand how much you mean to me...

My dear bunga, Anisah bt Othman, I love you so very much...

I know these are just cheap words and they won't prove anything to you.

But to me, words are the only thing that I can offer. My words are the expression of my feelings that come from my heart.

And you know that, don't you?

I may not be good at saying things when it comes to these feeling matters, but I can tell you this...

This post right here, will remain here, proving to you that I really do care for you, through my heart, my mind and my prayers...

The years may not be a measure of our friendship...

But I'm pretty sure the years ahead, where you'll be so far away will put that friendship of ours to the test. The ultimate test, where I can't call you or text you more often like before, where I won't be able to see you or get a train home together like we did a few times this year...

Truth be told, I'm really scared of what's coming for you...

Because you'll be so far away... which will make me worry about you more than ever and make me want to call you even more...

I guess I just have to wait for you and pray like crazy for your well-being and happiness over there until you land back here safely...

Anisah sayang...

When you've arrived there, I hope you will still remember me, as the most annoying yet lovable human being you've ever met and as someone who's been loving you ever since I met you :')

Thank you for everything, my dear, for guiding me towards the end of the tunnel, where I can the light and a way out...

You've always been there for me day in and day out, after all the "I have this little problem" and "that little dilemma I told you about"... 

You've always been there...

I may not be the best friend you've ever had, but I do hope I was never a burden or troublesome to you all along the way down our path of friendship...

I hope the little stick-it-notes I gave will make you smile for no reason...

I hope the little pictures I tag your name with will make your day...

I hope the little trinkets I gave will make you laugh with tears in your eyes as you remember me and my loving hugs :')

.....

Oh God, I think I'm the one crying here...

Well, I think that's it... 

Sweetie, I want you to know that this simple little post won't be the "goodbye" between us, okay?

Because I'm not good at it... which means I don't prefer doing it. I mean, saying goodbyes to people...

It's like a "see you soon" post, which means we'll meet again someday.  

I say see you soon with a promise that I WILL meet with you again...

If not sooner, later it is...

Okay?

I know posting this now is a little bit early as you're not going away until September, but like people always say,

"why sometime then when you can do it now?"

I love you, bunga :') 

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Wassalam.